For Bernadette Petrie, the island of Mallorca is a reminder of how wrong the mind can be, and she encourages us to discover our hidden limiting beliefs.

Sometime ago I spent a week in Mallorca on a girl’s trip. I had been here once before with my husband when we were expecting our first child. I remember how much I loved the place, which was a complete surprise as my perception of this island was totally skewed.

Why? Because for me, it was easier and less painful to dislike the idea of Mallorca. Two holidays to this island had previously alluded me – once as a child and then as a teenager. As a child, I had wanted to visit with my childhood friend and her parents and then, as a teenager, with two school friends. But neither happened, and I buried my feelings of rejection and disappointment. 

It is a human trait; when we are jealous of something we secretly desire, we convince ourselves it’s not worth experiencing and belittle it. I criticised everything about Mallorca; however, this view altered when in my early thirties, I happily, although somewhat sceptically, stepped on a plane and visited this gorgeous island. Since then, it holds a special place in my heart and serves as a reminder of how wrong our minds can be and encourages me to discover what other hidden limiting beliefs I might have. 

The girl’s trip was a trip with a difference because it was about dreaming, planning and creating for the future – as I was there primarily to write. If you had told my disappointed 12 and 18-year-old selves that I was to become a spiritual guide and coach and would be spending a creative week with American-born Theta Healer Jennifer Main and Scottish-born Compassionate Business Coach, Alisoun Mackenzie, on the island of Mallorca – they would have been blown away. My reaction would have been, “Oh my God (huge grin). Really? No way – is that how my life will be? Are you telling me the truth?” I may have even cried – okay, hands up; I know I would have cried. I can feel the tears as I write. I’m smiling and being healed by the thought of my 12-year-old self beaming.

Why am I telling you this? Because each and every one of us has desires. Desires which run deep but also desires which may be hidden away. Desires which have been ignored and forgotten and those we might even scoff at when they are mirrored back to us through the lives of others. We are so often unaware of what is happening right under our noses – of the gifts we have – the desires inside of us bursting to come out.

My secret desire as a child and young woman was to lead a creative life. To have meaningful, connected and loving conversations. To write and read beautiful words. To travel and to feel joy. To create beautiful things and lead an interesting, joyful, rich life. But somewhere along the way, I suppressed these desires, thought them unachievable and, even worse, considered my already beautiful, interesting life too dull. Why? Plain and simply, because I wasn’t present, I wished I was someone else; I was wishing myself away. 

“You wished yourself away, and with that
so much more. You doubt your value.
Do not run from who you are.”
 – Aslan to Lucy, ‘Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader’

In the last decade, many parts of my external life have not seen a lot of change, yet internally – how I view myself and experience life has radically changed. By being much more present, I can practise loving and cherishing all I am. Our ordinary stories are so rich and full of love; if we are brave enough, to be honest about how we feel, we will see the way forward. I encourage you to try, three times a year, to tune in to how you feel in that particular moment and how you would like to feel going forward in your life. Find three words to use as verbs. Use them to make decisions for the next four months until you revisit the process again. If you can be honest with yourself about who you truly are and how you truly want to feel, your life will feel transformed. No one but you can give you permission to live your secretly desired life.

You can buy Bernadette’s book from: NØRDEN 82 High St, North Berwick.